Backyard fun!

Well, Victoria day weekend has started out with a small project for Bedilu to enjoy for a long time. We started with this:

Then moved to this:

Then this:

And finally... this!

Oh, and he enjoys it very much!

The only thing missing now is the sand! I wasn't sure how quickly construction would go (especially with some "help"!), and we need to calculate how much we'll need, so the sand will wait for another day. It's been a very busy day around here, and now I'm very tired and sore! But I really love to do things for my family, especially things we can all enjoy together!

Reflections

This week I have been busy reminiscing.  May 12th (Mother's Day) will be our first anniversary of our 'family day'.  The day that Bedilu officially came with us and we started our life as a family of 3.  After waiting almost exactly 4 years we picked him up and bundled him into the Kidslink van.

It has been an amazing year!  Some days its hard to remember that tiny little guy we met in Addis.  He has grown so much!  He is talking and pretending and kissing his babies and shouting at the neighbours and running outside and yammering and quite successfully wrapping everyone around his little finger.  He is the neighbourhood social butterfly yet doesn't stray too far from Dad and Mom in public.  He is funny and sensitive.  He is a huge helper.  He insists on emptying the dishwasher and knows where all the dishes go.  He loves to dust and clean.  He loves to dig in the flower beds.  He loves Toopy and Binoo... and Mr Grouper.  He loves cars and buses.  He loves Poppa and Aaron (he loves everyone else too :) but those are the names we hear constantly)  He loves his pal D - they can't get enough of each other.  He loves his babies!  There are 4 of them that must be with him almost everywhere he goes.  They sit at the table with bibs, they come to the bathroom for baths, they get fed and hugged and kissed and told good bye whenever he leaves the room.

One year ago was an amazing time.  It was a time of excitement for us.  But its almost painful to see the pictures of Bedilu.  He was so scared.  He handled things so amazingly well but in those early days you can see the confusion and fear in his eyes.  He was old enough to know something was up but much to young to explain...  He has attached so amazingly well but part of me will always remember that scared little baby.

It's been an amazing year of getting to know each other.  It is such a pleasure to see him grow and to see him experience so many firsts.  We may have missed his first 18 months... but he has sure had many firsts here at home.  First ice cream, first camping trip, first swim, first snow, first Birthday party, first Christmas, first steps, first haircut, first trip to the ER...  It is such a learning experience - to be part of the adventure along with him, to experience the firsts along with him.  It's amazing to see his mind at work.  Now that he is communicating more we getting a bigger glimpse of what is going on in his head.  Often you can see the wheels just a turning and I would love to know what he is thinking.

It's been amazing to be the Mother of this child.  Luckily for me, he loves to cuddle and snuggle.  He loves hugs and kisses.  It is a joy.  It's not always easy - but nothing worthwhile is.  God didn't have to give me the desire of my heart... but He did.  Was it an easy road?  no...  Am I blessed beyond measure?  yes...  I am so incredibly thankful - that God would intrust me with the job of raising this son.            Every day I think of a woman who did not have the chance to raise her son.  We remember her as well on Mother's day.  It's incredible to think of how God brought our family together and we will never take that for granted.

Happy family day Bedilu.  You are the child that grew in Mommy's heart.  This first year with you has been full of love and wonder and life.  You are amazing.  You fill our days and our lives with so much joy.  We love you!!

Some updates from the past year

Well... I know it's been a while, but we are still here and just a tad busier than we used to be! Our family has grown a lot in the last year. Yes! It has been over a year since we met our boy for the very first time. It's hard to look back at those early pictures, and even harder to imagine that he is the same boy. He has developed quite a personality! It's been a great ride, and every day he comes up with new words and adventures! We are so blessed to have him as a part of our daily lives!

Happy Easter! This may be the only time he gets to wear this outfit, since he is growing more each day!

Updates

Hi there!

I know it's been a while.. and thanks to a comment from Karen :) I decided to update you on what is happening at our house.

I can hardly believe that we have been home with Bedilu for almost 16 weeks.  Where has the summer gone???  I can hardly remember the days without him.  But then, Mike and I still look at each other as B zips past us and we say - that is our kid!!!  He amazes us every day.  He is learning so much - and we are too!!!

In 16 weeks:

*he has popped out 11 teeth.  All we have left are the 2 year molars.  5 of those teeth just came in all together last week.  He has been pretty good about it all - mostly it has effected his sleep.

*he has gone from bland soft foods to all manor of table food.  We struggle with fruits and veggies - he would live on carbs if we let him!  He loves him some mashed potatoes and any kind of pasta!

*he has gone camping 3 times and there is one more trip before the end of the summer.  The boy LOVES to be outside.  Mention the word 'shoes' and he is running for the door.  When I reach for my sunglasses he goes giddy - knowing we are going outside!!  He loves the water!!!  He will just dive in head first - no fear what so ever.

*he has gained about 3 lbs and almost an inch.  We are heading to the Dr this week so will get the proper numbers.  He is wearing a 12 month size on bottoms and an 18 month size on top - his tummy is growing!!

*his vocab is increasing.  He came home saying dada and momma.  Now he includes: up, all done, bib, bump, poppa, puppy, hi, all gone, cuddle, ba ba (bottle), help, night night, shoes, socks, hat, pizza, tub.  He will also say 'hi puppy, hi dada etc.  He babbles alot and sings to himself all the time.  Just in the past few weeks we can pick out actual words in his babbling.  Just this past week we hear him saying 'pizza mmm' over and over again.

*he has been the guest of honour at 4 baby showers.  It has been amazing to introduce him to our friends and family.  We have been blessed beyond words with wonderful gifts.  The fact that I still have 60+ thank you cards to write is proof.  They are coming!

*we finally have a routine of sorts.  I allowed B to do what he needed to do regarding sleep.  It drove me crazy.  We went from one nap, to 2 naps in the day back to one and some days none....  We are now on a consistent nap time and bed time.  Sleep at night is not great.  In the beginning he was up every hour or so.  Now he is up 2 or 3 times a night.  Its been HARD.  I am a sleeper and love/need my sleep.  Mike and I take turns at night and I am napping during the day.  It is getting better and now that the teeth are all in we are considering sleep training...  He will fall back to sleep on his own some times and will play happily in his crib when he wakes up.  I feel like he really needs us in the night.  He seems to need lots of cuddles and comforting.

*I have learned to do grocery shopping in the afternoon.  In the morning the stores are full of retired folk from our 2 large retirement communities.  It takes FOREVER for B to meet and greet his peeps.  The feeling is usually mutual.  He loves his public!!!!  He waves and says hi to EVERYONE equally.  It can get some what embarrassing.  He loves to sit on our front porch and just watch the world go by.  In our small town...there is not much world going by... but a few cars and a few pedestrians make him happy.  We wait (almost) every night for Daddy to come home and he loves to sit out there and is content just to sit and watch.

*he is walking on his own.  When we picked him up he was 'cruising' around furniture and the walls.  He is now running and walking on his own.  He is FAST.

*he is doing magic tricks.  He loves to hide things beside himself in the high chair - ask you where it is - and then pull it out like a rabbit out of a hat.  We respond with 'surprise' and he just loves it.

*we have totally fallen in love with this little guy.  He is just amazing.  He is funny, sensitive and sweet.  He is a boys boy - banging and hitting and crashing and so LOUD.  Everything is made for climbing.  We are so proud to call him our son!!

 

My first official "Father's Day"

So this is it! My (Mike, if you couldn't tell from the title!) first Father's Day with my boy! I really enjoy coming home each evening and having Bedilu reach out his arms and yell (almost at the top of his lungs) a joyful greeting. He truly is a gift from God, and has made my life even better. Brenda is doing a great job here at home, even though she will tell you that it doesn't seem like she gets much done while he's up, she keeps this place running! Bedilu is adjusting to life in Canada, and getting really used to the run of the house! I can hardly remember the very cautious boy that we first met, but I'm glad he has achieved a level of comfort with us that allows him to explore, knowing that we are not too far away if he needs us. I know this is "Father's Day", but I'd like to celebrate my "Family Day" everyday!

Home for 10 days

It's hard to believe that we have been home for 10 days.  In most ways it feels like Bedi has always been here!  The crazy of travel is behind us - which is a very good thing!!!  I hope to not fly anywhere again for a very long time!!!!

The first flight was amazing.  Bedi slept the whole entire 8 hours.  He was so good and so quiet!!!  We also even slept a bit and it was a nice uneventful flight.  Then we had 7 hours to kill at the Frankfurt airport.  By now Bedi's poor tummy was just not happy.  Good thing we had lots of diapers and changes of clothes - cause we just about used them all.  Poor kid.  He was not happy at all.  By the time we got on the last plane, I was just about ready to cry myself.  In fact i believe i did.  An hour into the flight the nice head steward re-arranged some seats and got us a bulkhead seat with bassinet.  At that point I really did cry!!!  God bless those very kind folks who allowed us to have their seats.  Bedi slept for almost 1/2 of the flight and screamed for the rest.  I have never been so happy to land and have our feet on the ground again!!!!  Immigration, Customs and finding our luggage all seemed to be pretty easy... and then to meet our welcoming committee!  By now Bedi had fallen asleep - so he woke up to Grandpa and Grandma, Uncle Larry, Auntie Sheri and cousin Dayna!

And now we have been home for about 10 days.  I was sick for the first 5... am happy to say that I am much better now (lost 12 pounds!!).  I think we are all working in the same time zone by now.  We have no schedule or routine yet (which is kind of driving me crazy).  We have been letting Bedi sleep when he needs to and will hopefully soon be in a routine.  His tummy has calmed down and we are sticking to pretty simple foods and formula for now.  I think next week we will slowly start to introduce some veggies to his diet.  He is gaining weight and has a bit of a tummy now.  He is a very happy boy during the day.  He is very silly and has lots of 'tricks' to get attention.  He love to have an audience but he also plays well on his own and loves his new toys.  At night he is fairly restless.  He sleeps well until midnight and then is up 4+ times until he gets up around 6:30.

He has a few new 'tricks' and some new words - momma, daddy, hi, up.  He fake sneezes and fake coughs - which is new.  He loves to be in his stroller and outside!  He loves to just sit on our porch and watch the cars drive by!  We went to church for the first time yesterday and he LOVED to play with the other kids in the nursery!

We have been blessed with friends and family bringing us meals!!!  We are so well looked after!!!  Over all we are doing really well.  A bit more sleep would be nice...  But its getting better all the time.  I am finding my way as a 'stay at home mom'.  It's great to be home - but it still feels like I am on vacation and will be heading back soon...  Am sure I will get used to it.

Home with our boy!

Our house had been "vandalized" while we were gone!

Well, we finally arrived back in Canada, even better, HOME! We were very blessed with a good boy on our flights home. He only had one melt-down somewhere over the Atlantic. Brenda and I (Mike) didn't sleep much on the plane, so by the time we got home, we were pretty much worn out. Bedilu slept pretty good, only up a few times in the night, so we took shifts looking after him while the other one slept. Bedilu is still adjusting to our time zone, but he already knows that he has the run of the house! Thanks to our family and friends that have been with us along this journey! We are a truly blessed family! WOW, we're a FAMILY!!!

Our First Days

Where to begin! 

Picking Bedilu up  - what a day!  I met with the nurse and got his schedule.  It was so great to get the info but i was for sure feeling overwhelmed!!!!  We changed him into an outfit we had brought with us and then we were off.  He got to say his good byes to his nannies and as we were backing out of the compound more came running out to say good bye.  So touching to see how they will miss him.  The car ride was quiet as he just took it all in - he probably hasn't been out of the orphanage for 3 months or so.

We tried to stick to the schedule on the first day.  Smiles were hard to come by but by the end of the day we even had one short giggle.  He had a good nap but by supper time was not feeling so great.  He is teething and has a bad cold.  We have him started on some antibiotics.  He actually slept for 13 hours which was amazing!!!

Today has been a good day.  This morning he was just snuggly and cuddly.  He had a nap that we weren't expecting and then another one in the afternoon.  I think his teeth are really bothering him but he is doing well despite it all.  We have just been taking it easy.  Not sure that we will be doing much besides hanging out here at the Guesthouse.  He has started bonding with us.  He prefers me (Brenda) but will go with Mike as well.  He doesn't like to be too far from us - usually wants to be held or very close.  Its been a very good start!!!

Gotcha Day

We are leaving shortly to go and pick up Bedilu.  Can this really be happening???  Am still not believing it!  Just made up the crib in our room and packed a diaper bag for the first time.  Our visits have been bitter sweet.  So wonderful to hold him for the first time.  But so hard to see him so confused and scared.  Almost got a smile out of him yesterday....but its alot for him to take in.  I have a feeling that by the time we fly we will be seeing a whole different side to him.  In the play room we saw him smiling and heard him laughing and so we know we will see that again.  Wish we could upload photos... but I guess we will be doing that soon enough.

We are enjoying our time at the KVI guesthouse.  Its so wonderful to see our friends again.  And I feel much more confidant bringing Bedi here knowing that they are all here to help.  They can't wait till he comes!!!!  Its been rainy - the rainy season is starting early.  Much different from the dry, hot heat in March!  Its damp and muggy and my hair is showing the signs of humidity!!!  Yesterday it was sunny and this morning looks the same.

Hello Addis #2

We made it to Addis after what seemed like crazy long flights... It seemed like we would never get here!!!!  We met up with Mike's Dad - Chuck at the airport.  He flew in from Burkina Faso where he does Mission work.  It took us 2 hours to get our visa and get through customs...  It felt like forever.  But before long we found our ride and took off for the Guesthouse.  KVI has moved its Guesthouse - but I will get into that another time.

We had a nice chat with Eyob over the best coffee ever.  So happy to be back with our friends and enjoying Zeneba's coffee!!

Neither of us slept really well (added to 28+ hours of travel with no sleep)... and so after our breakfast we had a short nap.  Then we were off to the Kidslink/Imagine office to pick up Bedi's visa and other paperwork.  Then off to the orphanage for our first visit. I was totally unprepared.  It seemed like it took forever to drive the 4 or so blocks to the orphanage.  Before long we were at the compound gate and it swung open.

It was great to see our friends again who work at the orphanage.  Then they took us back to the baby room.  We ended up taking Bedi outside to create a bit of distance from his beloved Nannies.  He fussed for just a short while and then settled in with us.  He did pretty well but he was not exactly comfortable with us.  I have a feeling though that he will warm up to us soon.  Next time we will take some toys to keep him occupied.  He sure has alot of changes coming up - but I feel that by the end of the week he will be happier to see us.  We will probably visit for 3 or 4 more days before he comes home with us.

We decided everyone would be better off if we had a nap - and it was a good one!  It started raining just after lunch and there is no better time to have a nap!!!  We are both feeling much more human again and are looking forward to our visits tomorrow!

VISA

We just found out this morning that our VISA is in!!!!!

I can hardly believe it!!!  We are making our flight arrangements right now and will be leaving in the next few days!!!!  We are going to pick up our son!  Stay tuned!!

DHL

It seems that our doc's are taking a trip to Nairobi!!! I think the DHL website might get a few extra hits today - as I watch our doc's get delivered to the High Commission. This is the last thing we have to wait on - the visa. Can it be that we are closing in on the end of this whole crazy process????

Hold on Bedi - we are coming soon!!!

What to expect when you're expecting...

We have had a busy couple of weeks. We have been getting ready for Bedilu to come home! I am estimating that we have 4 or so weeks to go! We have had a baby shower, have been test driving strollers and even bought one. We bought our first box of diapers. I have made new packing lists and reorganized our luggage and carry-on’s. New curtains have been made. And a new renovation project has begun. These projects have been fun and have kept us busy. I had been told that they wait from court to visa would be the hardest. And that advice might just be correct. We have hit a few snags in the past few weeks and our patience has been put to the test.

Of course I have been thinking non-stop of our son. I sit in his room and imagine rocking him there. I wash and fold his clothes and try to remember exactly how big he is. I think of him in the orphanage and remember the love I saw between him and one particular nanny. I feel guilt that I will soon be turning his world upside down.

You see, lots of people tell me how lucky he is to be joining our family. But he is going to be losing as well. He will be losing all he has known and even though living in a family unit is much healthier than growing up in an orphanage, he is going to suffer loss and grief because of us. This transition will be difficult for him no doubt. We have been getting ready for him – but he has not been getting ready for us – he has no idea how his world is going to change very shortly.

We have had lots of time (4 years) to take courses, read books and speak with other adoptive families. We will be following some recommended actions in bringing Bedilu home.

First of all we will be ‘cocooning’. This means that for the first little while (the time depends on Bedilu’s personality and progress) we will be sticking close to home. We will be limiting his experiences until we feel he is comfortable. After all, he has spent the last 16 months in an orphanage – often in the same room – with the same people. All that is familiar will change. We need to ‘introduce’ him to the world slowly. We will be limiting visits and visitors.

The first thing that we need to teach Bedilu is that we are his parents. He has been used to numerous nannies and care givers coming and going and he needs to learn that we are not going anywhere. As parents, Mike and I need to be the only ones responding to his needs. The only ones to hold, bathe, dress, change, feed and soothe him. He needs to know that when he has a need it will be met by Mom and Dad. Yep – that is a tall order. Yep – we are going to be exhausted. But it is essential to his bonding with us that we undertake this huge task. If a strong attachment does not develop it will affect other relationships he has in the future. This also includes responding quickly to his needs – there will be no ‘crying it out’. He needs to learn that when he cries we will respond.

Adoption is hard. Bedilu is in for a huge change in his life. And so are we. Parenting will probably be the biggest challenge yet for us. Thanks for your support and for respecting our family!

Did I miss something...

Most observant folks might notice that when we got our referral we introduced our son as 'Devin Shawn Bedilu Manning'. Last week when we announced that we passed court we introduced 'Bedilu Michael Manning'.... Anyone confused???

The issue of naming in adoption is complicated. There are good points to both sides - to keep the birth name or to change them. I am not trying to start a debate here. It is totally a personal choice and I really don't believe one way is better than the other - this is just the story of how we came to change his name and then change it back again :)

We (for lots of very good reasons) had decided to change our son's name. We thought about it long and hard and weighed the pros and cons. We poured over baby name books and made list upon list of names to consider. We choose a name we really liked - Devin - just because we liked it, Shawn for Mike's middle name and then Bedilu for his birth name. At this time we also began calling our son Bedi. My family tends to shorten names as nick names and Bedi has just kind of stuck all along.

Fast forward to meeting our son. All of a sudden it just seemed right to keep his name. Once we saw him we just knew he is a 'Bedilu'. Bedilu means 'by his luck'. Now, I don't really believe in luck - I do believe that our lives are directed by God and that Bedi has come to us not by luck but by a Divine plan. Changing his name 'back' to Bedilu wasn't a hard - it just feels right. I know we messed a few people up who have been making us things with his name - so sorry for that :) And that my friends, is the story of Devin/Bedilu.

Introducing...

Please meet our son:

Bedilu Michael Manning!!

We passed court today and became the legal parents of this special boy!

Random Photos