What i did on my summer vacation 2009

Hi there - yes we are still living. Its been a while. We really don't know anything new at this point. We are still waiting for the 'proposal' done by the trustee to become available. Hopefully it will give details as to how/if things will proceed. I have sure had my moments of doubt and hope that our present 'limbo' will soon be over. It really sucks.

Anyway - since we are now back from my third week of vacation, I thought you might like to know what we did this summer....

My first week consisted of a spa get away with my good friend Tracey. Notice the lovely spa robes - we got to keep them, didn't steal them - i promise.

Mike and i took a week off right after the whole Imagine crap went down. We were supposed to finish our renovations -the baby's room - but decided to get away instead. We went camping - it rained almost the whole time. And i dont mean a nice little shower every once in a while - it poured - every day. We're talking good times!

Here we are trying to take our pic in a mirror.

Here are some of the friends we made that week.

We really liked them - they didn't ask us stupid questions or make insensitive remarks

We also spent a long weekend camping with my family

For our last week of vacation we headed to eastern Ontario.

Here is how it started:

But - hey - we are on vacation right - who's in a hurry!

We did alot of this:

Spent some quality time at the beach. Did some hiking and saw this pretty lily:

We also went on a cruise of the 1000 Islands.

We saw cottages like this:

and some 'cottages' like this:

Pretty crazy huh??

Anyhoo - we had a good time away - we really needed it!! Now its back to reality and the craziness that has become our life. A shout out to the rest of our peeps who are in the same boat as us -the suspense is killing me - i hope we get some real, firm, 'this is whats happening' news really soon. I am tired of this limbo - i am tired of not knowing what we are doing. I am tired of having to think of what is behind door #2. We didn't want door #2 - if we did we would have chose it in the first place. My patience is wearing thin. I don't know how much longer my heart can take this abuse. Are we grieving - are we hoping???? Please remember to keep us in your prayers - we still really need them!!!!

not forgotten

I have been trying to process this whole mess. The first week i was in a daze - really mourning the loss of our dream and our child. The second week i tried to ignore it - didn't work. And then on the third week... a glimmer of hope. We don't know what will happen. We could be holding our baby this time next year or our arms could still be empty. But i believe that God has not forgotten me. I believe that if we do not adopt our baby from Ethiopia, that God has not forgotten them either. I have really struggled with the knowledge that all these kids could now be with out a bright future. Then God reminded me of a few things.
Father's Day weekend we went to the Watoto children's choir concert. It was very emotional for me - i was on the verge of sobbing (the bad cry) through the whole thing. To see these orphans who had a new hope was amazing. They sang the following song and it gave me such reassurance that these kids were happy despite their circumstance and loved Jesus. So, if we don't get the chance to have our Ethiopian baby here at home with us - we will know that he/she is not forgotten - God has a different plan for them.
In the midst of everything, i was feeling lost - and then i realized that the song is not just for our baby - but its for me too. God knows my name. I am not forgotten. And so - keep praying. We are praying for a miracle and we know it can happen. Our hope is in God and we know that he can do amazing things.

I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
God knows my name
he knows my name

Light over darkness
strength over weakness
joy over sadness
he knows my name

father to the fatherless
friend to the friendless
hope for the hopeless
he knows my name

I will praise you
I will praise you
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made
I am not forgotten never forsaken

Cautiously optimistic

You may have heard by now that we attended a 'creditors meeting' today. For me it was a very emotional experience and i have to admit - that for the first time i am feeling some hope that our adoption may continue. There are alot of hurdle's that need to be jumped to make it all work - but I think it might just be possible. These hurdles include co-ordintaion of the trustees, the ON Gov't and the families - its a big job. Its going to take time.
Of coarse we are guarding our hearts and do not look forward to more disappointment. But we know that miracles can happen. I believe its a small miracle that things have turned out so well already. Please don't take our 'cautiously optimistic' attitude as negativity. We are doing the best we can to remain positive in this situation. We feel that we will give the process some time and then decide how we will proceed.
I want to thank you all again for your calls, emails, cards, gifts, words of encouragement and your prayers. Please continue to pray for us - our hearts are still very tender.
Below is the article on the meeting from the KW Record.


KITCHENER—Affected families were buoyed Thursday by a plan to try to restructure a bankrupt Cambridge adoption agency under new management.
If successful, it would mean hundreds of clients from across Canada will still be able to adopt children from overseas after investing months of time and up to $20,000 in the process.
Would-be parents were devastated when Kids Link International Adoption Agency, which operated as Imagine Adoption, collapsed July 14.
But they left a Kitchener meeting in good spirits after about 200 creditors voted unanimously to pursue a restructuring effort outlined by bankruptcy trustees from BDO Dunwoody.
“I’ve never seen so many people in one room agree on something so quickly,” said Ingrid Phaneuf, of Etobicoke, who is trying to adopt a child from Ethiopia. “It was fantastic.”
A group of about six people with the required expertise have come forward to possibly take over the non-profit agency. The plan would require approval from the provincial government, which licenses international adoption organizations.
Bankruptcy trustee Susan Taves said the plan will be explored and developed over the next two to four weeks to see if it can work.
“I think it’s really probable – a high percentage of success here,” she said after the three-hour meeting.
Companies, church groups, individuals and affected families have contacted trustees with offers to help salvage the agency.
“This is a really unique file,” Taves said. “In 20 years of doing this work, I’ve never had people call and say they’ll give money to keep an organization going.”
Families have so far filed claims nearing $3 million. Imagine has just $500,000 in cash, plus about $150,000 in accounts receivable and office equipment.
The collapse affected about 415 families, including more than 200 in Ontario.
Bankruptcy trustees are working with government officials to complete about 40 adoptions, mostly from Ethiopia, that had reached the stage where families were matched with children.
The remaining 375 clients were at various stages of the process and stand to benefit most if the agency is saved under new management and a new board of directors.
Nine families hoping to adopt from Ghana are in a particularly tough spot after an orphanage there was closed over concerns children had been improperly taken from their parents.
Jesse and Jeanette Martin of Elora had been matched with twin, eight-month-old girls before all adoptions from the orphanage were suspended.
“To us, these are our girls,” said Jeanette, showing photos of the children. “We won’t give up. We can’t give up.”
Waterloo Regional Police are conducting a fraud investigation after two directors of Imagine alleged senior staff earning six-figure salaries used corporate credit cards to make more than $300,000 in questionable purchases.
Included were trips, home renovations and a horse and saddle.
There was no sign at the meeting of Susan Hayhow, the former executive director of Imagine and two related organizations, Global Reach Children Fund and Saint Anne Adoption Agency.
Those agencies are also caught up in the Imagine bankruptcy because money moved among accounts for all three organizations.

hanging in

Just wanted to let you all know that we are doing ok. We were able to get away last week for a few days. It was nice to have some peace and quiet and get our heads around what has happened.
We really don't know any more than you do and what you see in the news. Time will tell if our file is salvageable. At this point its all up to the Ontario gov't. There is a meeting for all creditors on Thursday and we are hoping to get some answers at that point.
We want to thank you for your support - for your prayers, cards, gifts, phone calls and concern. Please keep us in your prayers. We are in a crazy limbo right now - scared to hope and scared not to. We trust that God will make a way - where there seems to be no way.

black monday

yesterday our world fell apart. Our dreams and our hearts have been crushed. we are numb. We found out that our agency - Imagine Adoption has gone bankrupt. This pretty much means the end of our adoption. We choose this agency and this route because we felt it was our best chance of having a family - ever. The thought of getting into another line some where else is just so insane right now. Some say there may be hope for our file and another agency picking us up as clients but i doubt they will do it for free and we are at our limit. we are grieving the loss of our child and the hope that we once had.
We are thankful for our friends and families. for the calls and emails and facebooks and cookies. we haven't responded much - we will in time. we just need time to process. if you want to know details - check out the imagine website - globe and mail - CTV - any news site - its everywhere. We are also thankful for your prayers - cause right now we don't have the words to say so we are counting on you to lift us up. we know we are not the only ones - there are so many just like us. we have all suffered so much already and this just seems to be so surreal.

101

how fancy - this is my #1o1 post. Who knew i (and occasionally 'we') had so much to say?!
I had a great week off! The weather totally sucked - rain, over cast, down right scary clouds, humidity and cool damp weather which is not kind to hair at all. Yesterday and today have been nicer - the sun has returned and so i am trying to enjoy it as much as i can!!!
Collingwood and the Blue Mountain resort was great!!! We got a sweet little package deal that included our meals and spa treatments (my feet have never looked or felt so wonderful!!) and some shopping coupons and a nice new robe to take home - and no we didn't steal them - we were supposed to take them home :) The weather didn't exactly co-operate - we had hoped to get to the beach or at least sit by one of the beautiful pools...but alas we shopped :) and saw some nice movies and did some more shopping :) It was a great get away!!!!
Also had a birthday last week - yep - another year older. It was kind of quiet which is fine by me. Mike and I enjoyed a wonderful seafood dinner out. Looking forward to having our first campfire in my new fire pit - once the fire chief comes by and ok's it and gives us our permit. I love a good campfire!!!
Today we are off to a surprise birthday party and then i am afraid its back to work. ugh. i am trying not to imagine the piles of papers that are waiting for me - its nice to know some of my work has been done while i was away - but the rest will sit and we will be right into the thick of 'month end'. The good news is that i work 2 weeks and then enjoy vacation week #2. Already counting down the days. This time Mike is off as well and we plan to tackle house stuff and get those reno's cleaned up that we started last summer... i would even like to start a new project or two :) we will see.
Also, good news on the adoption front (for other people anyway). Some folks are travelling as we speak and others have finally had successful court dates!! Yippee!!! Such good news going around. This can only mean that more referrals are on the way. And of coarse good news for other families is always good news for us. The process is moving and we are slowly inching our way closer to the top of the list. Mind you i said slowly - don't go getting all excited - I still think a referral by Christmas will be a miracle. But good news is good news and i will take it!!!

While the wife is away...

It's true... I'm not myself when Brenda is away. She's off enjoying a much needed girl's getaway, while I'm stuck here working! I had great intentions of getting a lot of projects done while she's gone, but all I've managed to do is get the new outdoor fire bowl put together. Tomorrow is another day to tackle some more projects! The Canada day fireworks here in town were nice to watch from our back deck, it seems that we have a perfect line of sight to the park from here! I sat outside watching them before I left for work last night. The rain held off until the grand finale, then it got wet fast! So here's wishing our blog friends a Happy Canada Day!