Confession Friday

I confess:

*This has been a discouraging week adoption wise. 2 really good friends are both really struggling with their adoptions. One is just so close – so close to picking up their sweet boy. Red tape just keeps getting in the way. It seems like petty, easy things that just make you shake your head – are keeping them from hoping on a plane. My other really good friends just do not know if their adoption will ever happen. Delay after delay has had them at a standstill for a long time (since last summer) and now there is 3 more months of not knowing. And us…I still don’t know where our file is at but was told ‘we are looking into it’. If you don’t mind, say a prayer for all of us as some days, one more thing is just too much to deal with.

*That I feel a bit like Jekyll/Hyde. One post is positive and exciting and upbeat and then bam. More crap. Will life ever be normal again? How I look forward to the day that our adoption is done and final and we can move on to a new kind of crazy – parenthood!

*We all need some good news.

*I got up and watched the wedding today at 3:00am. By ‘up’ I mean that I was awake but still in bed. :)

*I did get a bit teary. Weddings always make me cry. It was a beautiful wedding!!!

*Retail therapy is in my future.

Confession Friday (on Saturday)

I confess:

*we are getting close to the top of the list. seriously close. nauseously close. computer stalking close. freaky person close. The last referral that was announced - their original number was 55 and ours is 62. That is close. According to my spreadsheet, my multi-coloured and 'can't live without' spreadsheet - there are only 3 other people ahead of us that are stating 'either' gender, the rest want girls...that means we are closer than close. and its freaking me out. I am freaked out because our paperwork is still not done. At this point i don't really know where it is or how longer it will be there, where ever it is... The new agency took over our files this week and so i am trying to give them a grace period before i go crazy and demand some more info.... We are close. Close to insanity for sure. The reality is that we could be 'close' for a very long time.... You know me, i try to be realistic but its so hard not to try to put a time line on these things. IF we got a referral by June (my birthday) and it takes 6 months or so for the rest of the paper work...we could be traveling around Christmas time... That is a huge IF and i really try not to go there as there is no possible formula to try to figure out how long will take... pray for my sanity. Could we really have our baby home this year???? Mike is as cool as a cucumber...we refuses to get excited until we have our referral...I wish we could trade places for a week or a day... That would be a nice change.

*yesterday we heard the news that Sue Hayhow and Rick Hayhow have both been arrested and charged with fraud. I thought i would feel differently. I thought i would feel relieved and happy to hear this news. I am glad that they will be held accountable for their actions. I am actually surprised that Sue was in the country as it was rumoured that she was living in Africa. I was surprised at how raw my emotions still are after all this time. It is definitely a part of my life that hasn't completely healed yet - maybe it never will. It has really stirred up all the emotion of that time - when i was grieving the loss of a child and our adoption. It has become a part of our adoption story that i would like to forget about and 'skip over'. But it was/is a real part but not one i want to focus on. Here is a link to the news and our friends being interviewed - a happy ending with pic's of their beautiful son:http://swo.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20110408/imagine-adoption-charges-110407/20110408/?hub=SWOHome

*i have alot of work to get done before we have people in for dinner tonight...and I am feeling very lazy. Maybe i need some stronger coffee to get me through. Or maybe we will order pizza...

*blogger is making me angry!!!!! its not saving right and i am getting frustrated!!!

Another Room Finished!

We have now finished our spare bedroom. It is now ready for occupancy, so if you are planning to come to Ontario (hint hint Karen), please do!!!

We (Mike) re-did the dry wall, added crown moulding, painted everything - including the floors and installed a new ceiling fan/light fixture.

We have the after's first because our computer is very slow today. Enjoy!!!

The befores. Ugh - ugly green wall paper on one wall, ugly grey paint on the other walls. Gaps in dry wall, dirty and stained floor. Good bye to the dingy's!!!

Thanks Mike for all your hard work!!! You are the best! Now, on to our next project :)

Confession Friday

I confess:

*as I wrote that last post, I was very excited about where we are and how close we are to a referral

*after I read the last post, I got depressed at how long we still have before we have our child home

*it’s been a tough week. Since the bankruptcy happened I have tried very hard not to get caught up emotionally in what is going on the boards and the latest drama. There is always ‘something’ and to save my sanity I usually take it all with a grain of salt until I see some concrete proof that it might be true. I was avoiding the latest news in hopes that it was just another rumour. For those not in the adoption world, we are going to be faced with much longer wait times… That’s all I am going to say about it. It adds more time to our time line and causes children to have longer time in institutional care. It’s sad and hopefully things can be turned around.

*that after the latest news that wait times are only going to increase I really wondered if we should continue with this adoption. If we weren’t so ‘close’ to a referral, I think we would be seriously considering our options

*that our child is worth waiting for and some day we will look back at this time and be grateful for the path that lead us to our child.

Next Steps

So many of you family and friends are excited to see us getting closer to the top of the list! Your encouragement and excitement and support is so wonderful!!! I thought i might explain the 'rest' of this journey to you all so it doesn't get too complicated. Even though we are getting 'closer', we still have a long way to go:

1. Paper chase - well, our homestudy update is complete and we have filled out all the necessary paperwork. Right now our homestudy is at the Ontario Ministry of Family and Children - getting approved. We need to be approved by them to adopt - again. They did this already - 2 years ago, so it should be a rubber stamp, we hope. It should take about 6 weeks and its already been there for one week. After that our file or dossier needs to be notarized and authenticated - it travels from Ottawa to Toronto and then back to Cambridge. That takes about 3 weeks. During this time we are not eligible for a referral - booo - but that's ok because we probably aren't that close anyway. Once this is all done it goes to Ethiopia and sits and waits on our referral.

2. The Referral - we get matched with an adoptable child!!! Our request is either gender (Mike is sure its a girl and I am sure its a boy - who will win???) under 24 months. We will get 'the call' from our agency and they will send us photos, medical info and back ground info on this child. We then have to have our Dr. check it out and our Adoption Practitioner check it out. We then accept or reject this referral. Usually referrals are rejected due to physical/illness issues. If we accept, then we move on. This acceptance process can take a few days depending on when you can get appointments with Dr's and the AP.

3. Court - once we have accepted the referral, the agency applies for us to get a court date. It usually takes about a month to hear when your court date will be - and it can be any where from a month to 3 months till you get that date.

4. Appear in court. We will then travel to Ethiopia to appear in court!! When we get there, we will travel to the orphanage to see our baby. We will get to observe him/her - but not touch or take photos. Then, a few days later we appear before a judge, who will ask us a few questions and hopefully make us parents. After the successful court date, our child will be moved to our agency's baby house - then we will get to visit the baby once - for a few hours. At this point we will be able to hold and cuddle and take pictures of our wee one. Then my heart gets ripped out and we come home... We actually hope to do some sight seeing and major shopping on this trip as we will be childless and able to travel easier. This trip might be 10 or so days.

5. Wait. Then we wait on a new Ethiopian birth certificate with our child's new last name, and then the visa wait. Right now the visa wait is taking anywhere from 2 weeks to 16 weeks. Yes, that's right 16 weeks.

6. Visa is in! When we get the news that the visa is in - we catch the next flight to Ethiopia. That's right - the very next flight - hopefully that same day :) well, soon after anyway. We go to Ethiopia and bring home our child. We are hoping that this will be a quick trip - probably 5-7 days. We will probably visit the child on the first day there - hang out and let him/her get used to us. The next day they child usually comes into your care. Sometimes, it might take longer if it seems the transition might not be smooth.

So, that is what is still in store for us. Even if we get a referral this year...we might not have the baby home this year. It could happen - but we know not to count on what should happen in this process. It is exciting to get closer to the 'top' of the list and this 10 week wait till our paperwork is in order is bugging me. I mean, we started in August to get this stuff together, it seems like its taking forever... But i have a feeling that once its all done we will get a referral soon after.

ps. - the above information is not binding or for sure - its what i understand of the process and what i have experienced and know to be mostly true :)

Moving on up

There were 3 referrals announced this week!!!! That is a 3 place jump closer to the top for us. It is starting to get exciting again! I was just sitting in the baby's room thinking of things to be done and getting excited again. Oh my, can it be? Will it soon be our turn???

Confession Friday

I Confess that i have the day off today and have zero motivation to get anything done. Last week I was a busy bee and today i would love to curl up on the couch with a good book.

I Confess that we got invited to a wedding next month and i have absolutely nothing to wear. I do not own a dress that will work in the winter.

I Confess that i dread looking for the dress. Luckily my 15 year old niece will be shopping with me. At least we will get something kind of 'cool' or in style. Hopefully... Worse than the dress will be finding shoes for my wide feet.

I Confess that last Friday we thought we had all our paperwork together and so we quickly mailed it off to our agency. Monday morning we received a new form that must be signed and notarized... It just never ends.

I Confess that its a beautiful 'spring' day here - the sun is shining and the snow is melting. All we have now is that yucky, dirty brown snow and so i hope it snows again. The world is so much prettier when the snow is clean and white.