I am not having the reaction I thought i would have. Mike is the very excited one and I am getting there. I feel a huge sense of relief but more than anything I am still in shock. You see for the last almost 4 years we have had no sense of timing. We tried to guess and maybe, sort of come up with some kind of time line which has always been way off. This time we have a date. We have a count down. We KNOW when we are going. We KNOW when we will see our boy. Its kind of freaking me out to be honest. We are making TRAVEL plans... I am buying things. Its all feeling a bit crazy.
On every kind of holiday i would daydream and dare to ask myself - will we have a baby next Christmas 0r our next camping trip or next summer... and the answer appears to be yes.
Now the other thing is that it is not over yet. This is like the 7th inning stretch. Its fun to do and it means the game is coming to a close - but it ain't over yet. Still so many things to wait for and some of the hardest part is coming. The sweet sweet day we will see our boy for the first time and the day we have to leave him and come home. I knew this day was coming - I did and I would tell myself "it won't be that bad" - many others have done it. But i know I am going to be a HUGE mess. This, I am not looking forward to - in fact dreading it. We were really trying to figure out how we could make the 'long' stay work - but in reality we just can't do it. I will be on cloud nine if we have to turn around 5 weeks after we get home and go right back to pick him up!!!
So, YAYYYYYYYY we have our court date!! It is exciting to be at this place FINALLY. But with it comes a whole new set of scary and crazy - which we should be used to by now. We are grateful and we are thankful and we are happy! And as my co-worker J would say 'strength for the journey'!