Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Christmas 2009

Our house before Christmas - this snow has melted, but we are now getting more of the white stuff!!
Hope you all had a merry Christmas!!!! Seems like every year gets busier and a bit crazier! It was a good time for us. A few days of rushing around followed by some very quiet days of R&R. It's back to work now and let me tell you - that first day back is hard!!!
Christmas Eve, I baked and cleaned and cooked - a nice way to spend my first day off. Then we got packed up and headed over to my parents house. We had a pretty low key evening with my parents and my sister's family. Had a great dinner, played some games and watched "White Christmas" which is a VanderBent Tradition. Funny, that not too many of us can honestly say they stayed awake for the whole thing :) We all stayed overnight - which was fun but not too restful.
Everyone checking out their fancy new phones
Hmm, what could it be??
On Christmas morning we all headed over to Val and Brad's and had a big breakfast and then opened some gifts. Val and Brad surprised Mike and i with a hard cover book made of our blog!! What a great keepsake this will be for baby. I look forward to the next editions. We both got spoiled big time -thanks everyone!!

After breakfast we had to run and be on our way to London, to Mike's brothers house. Luckily the weather held out - just a lot of rain, not the storm that was predicted.
Here is Uncle Mike trying to convince AJ to keep his socks on.
Uncle Mike giving AJ a drum lesson - hit the drum, not the dog!!

Granny, Auntie Brenda, AJ and Uncle Frank having a snooze in the back :)
AJ, Terri, Paul and Kyle

Like I said, it was a bit of a whirlwind and we aren't done yet. New Years day we have turkey on the farm and then on the 2nd we are having 'Cober Christmas' which is my extended family on my dad's side.
The comment was made again this year about how there will be an added high chair next year. I sure hope so. I think i know enough not to get too comfortable with that idea - but oh, wouldn't that be the best Christmas ever. This year has taught me alot of things. I pray for our own Christmas miracle next year. We have experienced miracles this year and know that they are possible and so we continue to hope.

History in the Making

The Olympic torch relay came to our little town this weekend. Pretty cool!! There were so many people out to see it!!! It really was amazing to see it come by and think of where its all been!! It was a nice afternoon - not to cold with just a few snowflakes in the air. Kind of neat to be part of 'history'.

Here it comes!

The next excited runner waiting for her turn!!

We had a great view of the hand off!

There it goes!

And then it was done and heading down the road to the next little town. I am really looking forward to the Olympics. I do every time really but this one will be special. Go team Canada!!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!

From our house to yours - may you all have a wonderful Christmas! Enjoy this time celebrating with family and friends.
Ho Ho Ho

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Christmas Miracles

Today there were 2 referrals announced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my - we are in business. Congrats to the families and to all of us. Looking forward to hearing details and hopefully more referrals in the days to come.
We still haven't seen the promised list to show us where we are in the wait compared to the other families - we will see this in January. But now we can cross 2 names off the list as we climb higher to the top.
We have come such a long way.
Miracles do happen!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, December 14, 2009


how do you like that - 14 on the 14th. We have been waiting for our referral now for 14 months - and today is the 14th - shouldn't we get a prize or something???
Yep - waiting - fitting how Christmas is about waiting - and don't we know about waiting!!! Mostly i feel pretty good about the wait - as i mentioned in an earlier post -we are just thrilled that we are still in the game! However, its still hard when everyone asks and thinks that we will be getting our baby 'any time now'. I kind of smile and say 'well, it will be another year or so'. Waiting - come on already with referrals!!!
Anyhoo - on to other things. We have been busy with Christmas - Youth Christmas party, Christmas Parade (conveniently it goes right by our house so we watched from the porch this year), Christmas bun baking - yum (Mike helped me and is a good kneader!!!), Christmas plays(my sister's -and she said a bad word!! funny part was my parents were pre-warned and my mom missed the 'bad word' all together :) guess it wasn't so bad!!), Christmas decorating, barely started the Christmas shopping - but should be done by the end of the week, Christmas cards - i am totally getting a cramp over that one and lots of Christmas cheer.
Last Christmas i was pretty sure we would be home with baby by now, so I don't even try to guess if we will be home by next Christmas - but i do hope for a referral by then. I know about waiting and i can totally relate to the Advent season and the wait. The candles of Hope, Joy, Peace and Love (hope that's right) - we can have all those things in our waiting. They make the waiting all the more special.

Monday, November 30, 2009

we did it!

The numbers are in - 246 families have re-signed their contracts, sent in the $ and we are a go!!!
In the last few weeks I was pretty confidant that we would have enough families to continue and we do. What a relief!! Now we wait for the first referral - what a sweet day that will be!!!!!!! The other good news is that we will finally get a list of the families waiting and we will be able to see our place in line. We never knew that info before - i had my colour coded spreadsheet but it wasn't very accurate to say the least. That is such a relief to us! We will be able to get a better grasp on our wait times as we see the people ahead of us bring their sweet babies home!! I have a feeling we are in the top 50?! I really hope so - but it will just be nice to know for a change.
So, such good news after a wonderful weekend!!!!
In the whole mess of the bankruptcy i got a card from a friend that said 'expect miracles'. I thought that was a pretty bold statement. But i can tell you that i am expecting miracles here and they have been happening.

Sunday, November 29, 2009


This weekend, Mike and I have been blessed in such a huge way.
Right after the bankrupcty happened, people wanted to do things for us. It was so nice, but there was really nothing to be done and at that point we didn't know if we had a future with this adoption. As soon as we knew we needed more $ to make things happen, a fundraiser was planned. My sister and cousin took up the challenge and made it happen.
Well, it happened last night. What a night!!! We used a friend's barn, booked a great band and friends brought wonderful treats. It was such a special evening.
About 150 came and showered us with love and support. It is very humbling to receive such love. We are so very appreciative and just full of gratitude - for everyone involved and everyone that came. Thank you so much for the financal support. The numbers aren't all in yet but so far we have enough to pay our fees plus a good chunk of our traveling expenses. What a blessing!!!
Thanks to Beth and Sheri - the driving force behind it all. To Len and Lynnette for their help on the Villages side. To Aunt Mim for phoning and inviting the Cober's - which is a big job! and for her help in the kitchen that night. Thanks to Val for putting together a wonderful power point of photos of Ethiopia and informative facts and trivia. Thanks to Arnica for allowing us to use her photos. Thanks to Carol for allowing us to use her beautiful barn. Thanks to Don and Stand Firm for blessing us and rocking out the barn!!!!!
I didn't say a speech last night and so didn't blubber -which is good. But i did have a few thoughts rolling around in my head as i observed our friends and family mingling and having a good time.
Adoption comes from pain. Our child will suffer many losses to become part of our family. But as I looked across the room last night i knew that our child will gain this community as their family and friends and will be so blessed to know all of you and have you in his/her life.
I cant wait till we have our next party - the band is booked and the pig (roasted of course) is on stand by. It will be amazing to celebrate our child home at last!!
The barn decorated in an African theme

Stand Firm and 'Rock on' Don

Bring down the house -or shall we say barn

oh the Food - wonderful goodness!!

shot from the balcony:

Sunday, November 22, 2009


I haven't really been paying much attention to the ticker lately. No, my heart is fine :). The ticker is the little gizmo at the top of the blog that tell me how long we have been waiting for a referral. We know that this is only on small part of the 'wait'. We have waited long and hard before we even got to this point, but we won't go there today.
Anyhoo - today the ticker says - one year, one month, one week and one day, waiting for our referral.
I could go on and on about how i despise this wait. How it would be so nice to hold a baby like the sweet little ones i held today. But, i won't complain today. Because (so far) we can still say we are waiting. There was a point this summer where we thought it was done and we thought we were really done - i mean really done. I was trying to wrap my head around the idea of not having any kids. We have talked about it and know it wouldn't be all bad. But i just could not accept that one, it hurt just too much.
So, one year, one month, one week and one day. One more step closer and we are still in the game. One year, one month, one week and one day - I will take that.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

good words

Today was a good day. It was the first day in a long time that i have felt like we are really going somewhere with the new agency. On that bad, bad day in July, i really felt like it was the end of our road to parenthood. I really did not believe that the agency could be revived - i thought that people needed to deal with their grief and not play mind games, getting hopes up. Boy have i been proved wrong. I usually don't like to admit i am wrong - but this time i sure am glad!!

So, today the first good words i heard were The Board will post an update from the team that has recently traveled to Ethiopia. We got an update email - which in itself is great. It is so nice to get info and feel like we know what is going on!! I was excited that we would get an update on the trip to Ethiopia. The rest of the email was just answering questions and general info kind of stuff - but stuff that reminded me what it was like to be excited about our adoption. We also know that we will be told where our place is in line. It is such a relief to know where we sit and i think will make waiting much easier.

Then the report was posted on the BDO site and i saw words like: MOWA reassured the group that they are pleased and looking forward to continue working with Imagine Adoption Wow!! MOWA is the ministry of women's affairs in Ethiopia. That was a hurdle that i worried about. But the Ethiopian gov't is on board and 'pleased'!!! Such great news!

Then i heard: Kingdom Vision and Selam orphanage have given the Board confidence that referrals will start sooner than we have anticipated. Here is another kicker!! Great news - amazing!!! The doubter in me says not to get to excited about that and still wants to guard my heart a bit but to me that sounds pretty darn good.

The next bit made my heart so happy!! There is no plan to exclude single applicants Yippee for my friends who can now sleep better at night knowing that they are included in the process!!

And finally the sweet words: ALL GOALS WERE ACHIEVED! That pretty much sums it up. Kudos to the new board and employees for getting so much done, so fast.

So, our contract is signed and will head out in the mail tomorrow. We weren't waiting for this info before we signed, but it sure makes signing all the sweeter. The realist in me is telling me to slow down and not get too excited - remember: international adoption has no guarantees. We still need to get the minimum of families to re-sign but i am feeling fairly confidant that this will happen!!

I also heard some words of validation today. I won't tell you the whole story, right now it seems so personal. But i will tell you that they were words i needed to hear. They were words from an African man who validated to me our international adoption. I some times wonder what African people think of us white folks adopting their kids - its a debate i won't get into now. But this friend encouraged me and then thanked me. I told him that we are the ones who are blessed. And we really are.

So - good words today. I feel that spark of hope growing. I feel like i can open the nursery door a bit more and take some steps inside.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


No - I am not talking about the weather today - i am talking about my age. That is about how old I feel! I knew i was due for my yearly bout with sciatica and here we are. It's way better than last year's version but none the less i walk around like an old woman. I really could have used a walker for a few days - a kitchen chair had to do the trick. I am mobile now - slowly and surely. I was only off work for 4 days this time... I hate to be helpless -ugh. The good news is that i am on the mend and all will soon be well.
Anyhoo, other than my ailments nothing much is new. We continue to live our lives and continue to hope that our adoption will have a happy ending. Some days i get excited and day dream again about how it will be - when we are parents. Even thought up a new good boy's name (have lots of girls names on the list but not too many good boy choices). And some days the reality of waiting another year or so just weighs me down.
Good news for lots of Cafac folks including Steph and fam! Congrats and yippee!!! I am celebrating with you!!! Its so great to see things moving along for you all. I am still lurking out there - keeping up with my blogging peeps - seeing your kids at home gives me hope and reminds me that it's all worth it.
So, that's it for me. Just thought i would let you know that i am still here - slow and feeble but here.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

happy birthday...

yep - we have been waiting for our referral for one whole year! hard to believe we have made it this far - and at this point I am just so glad that our adoption is still moving forward. So, one year down - I am trying really hard not to imagine when we will be holding our baby - i am hoping that it will be sooner than i think.

So, besides all that, what have we been doing? I have been a fairly silent blogger - hope that i am not a source of entertainment for you - you must be bored out of your tree!!! Seems like our fall has been busier than our summer - had an anniversary, went to the beach (I LOVE IT!!), helped my mom pick out fixtures, flooring and cabinets for her new bathroom, started up a new Jr Youth program at our Church, had a great weekend with Mike's family in Dunnville (a big shout out to the Manning clan), went to AJ's first birthday party, went to a great concert, said goodbye to Dad as he has returned to Burkina, had a great visit with cousin Lorie and got to meet Max for the first time, took a few days off :), had a cake decorating lesson with Dayna, did some shopping :), mike had a birthday, had a party, did some more shopping, welcomed back Dennis and Sue to Ontario, cooked up a storm with my sister, did some more shopping :), and celebrated thanksgiving with my family. Phew - its been a busy couple of weeks. I am looking forward to life settling down a bit - but don't expect it to in reality.
This thanksgiving i am so thankful for you - my family and friends. This year i have been reminded so much of how you all love me and care for me. and we sure needed it. I know that we couldn't have made it through without your encouragement and support. thanks to God for providing me with all of you.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Another step in the right direction

Today was the court date. The bankruptcy has been annulled in court and we are on to the next step. I wish the new board would re-name "Imagine Adoption" but i guess we will wait and see if they do - a new beginning needs a new name in my books.
Anyhoo - yep - its another step, with many more to go. We are still feeling 'cautiously' optimistic. The next hurdle will come in November. This is when families continuing on will need to sign an new contract with the new agency and pay more money. In order for things to continue, there needs to be a certain number of families who sign on. So, we will hold our breath and hope for the best. I know some people have moved on, and i wish them all the best. We were very close to making that decision as well - we wish you luck and blessings on your new journeys. We have decided to stick it out and see where is all goes.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The vote is in...

You have probably seen the news by now - the vote is in and its a YES!!!!!!!
Its hard to believe how far we have come since that nasty Monday in July. I wasn't even certain that we would have a yes vote - there was so much negativity out there that i was wondering if we would even get to the next step or not.
I am pretty excited - but still know that we have a long way to go. The next big hurdle will be signing the contract. It seems like there still may be people who choose to go in different directions. That is their choice and their business and i respect each family making a decision that is best for them. The plan can continue if some families opt out - but we still need a high number for it to continue. So, by the end of November we will know how many families are going to sign the new contract and continue on.
The next hurdle comes in Feb 2010 when the new board will decide if this new agency is feasible - will it really work? This is another crucial point where things could end for us.
So - yes i am excited - but of course with international adoption there is no guaranties. As i said in an earlier post - i don't think i will be truly excited until i see that picture of our baby and finally hold him/her in our arms. Until then, I keep hoping and praying...

Monday, September 7, 2009

Happy Anniversary

My sweetie and I have just celebrated our 5th Anniversary.
5 years!!! I know we are still in the honeymoon years - and i hope they never end. I always wanted to be 'married' but i never imagined i would be so happy.

"Feels Like Home"
Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life
If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see through the dark there's light
Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

i love you!!!


Well, 'the proposal' came out on Friday night. Its hard to believe how this whole mess has turned around so quickly. It hasn't always felt quick but in the big picture it has been. On July 13th our world was turned upside down and now on August 11 we have some answers and a plan. By the way - July 13th was our 9th month waiting for our referral - i haven't been counting lately. But i feel way over due!
I am happy with the proposal. I want to say a huge thanks to Susan Taves - the trustee. She even included a video with the key points to make everything easier for us. Yes, we have to pay more money. But its actually alot less than I thought it would be. I have been told to not worry about money, so I am trying not to.
I just can't seem to get excited about it though. I want to be excited. I want to open that nursery door again. I want to go in there and rock in the chair and dream about our baby. But I just can't seem to be excited. Maybe when the first referral comes in... Maybe when that first baby comes home... Maybe when we get our referral... Maybe when we bring our baby home... I have a feeling that it wont be real till i have that baby in my arms - cause i know that things can and do happen and dreams can be shattered. I know people have had those photos and thought they had their babies and they don't. Please don't let this be another awful chapter of our lives. Please let this be the beginning of the happy ending.

Monday, August 31, 2009

What i did on my summer vacation 2009

Hi there - yes we are still living. Its been a while. We really don't know anything new at this point. We are still waiting for the 'proposal' done by the trustee to become available. Hopefully it will give details as to how/if things will proceed. I have sure had my moments of doubt and hope that our present 'limbo' will soon be over. It really sucks.

Anyway - since we are now back from my third week of vacation, I thought you might like to know what we did this summer....

My first week consisted of a spa get away with my good friend Tracey. Notice the lovely spa robes - we got to keep them, didn't steal them - i promise.

Mike and i took a week off right after the whole Imagine crap went down. We were supposed to finish our renovations -the baby's room - but decided to get away instead. We went camping - it rained almost the whole time. And i dont mean a nice little shower every once in a while - it poured - every day. We're talking good times!
Here we are trying to take our pic in a mirror.

Here are some of the friends we made that week.
We really liked them - they didn't ask us stupid questions or make insensitive remarks

We also spent a long weekend camping with my family

For our last week of vacation we headed to eastern Ontario.

Here is how it started:

But - hey - we are on vacation right - who's in a hurry!
We did alot of this:

Spent some quality time at the beach. Did some hiking and saw this pretty lily:

We also went on a cruise of the 1000 Islands.

We saw cottages like this:

and some 'cottages' like this:

Pretty crazy huh??

Anyhoo - we had a good time away - we really needed it!! Now its back to reality and the craziness that has become our life. A shout out to the rest of our peeps who are in the same boat as us -the suspense is killing me - i hope we get some real, firm, 'this is whats happening' news really soon. I am tired of this limbo - i am tired of not knowing what we are doing. I am tired of having to think of what is behind door #2. We didn't want door #2 - if we did we would have chose it in the first place. My patience is wearing thin. I don't know how much longer my heart can take this abuse. Are we grieving - are we hoping???? Please remember to keep us in your prayers - we still really need them!!!!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

not forgotten

I have been trying to process this whole mess. The first week i was in a daze - really mourning the loss of our dream and our child. The second week i tried to ignore it - didn't work. And then on the third week... a glimmer of hope. We don't know what will happen. We could be holding our baby this time next year or our arms could still be empty. But i believe that God has not forgotten me. I believe that if we do not adopt our baby from Ethiopia, that God has not forgotten them either. I have really struggled with the knowledge that all these kids could now be with out a bright future. Then God reminded me of a few things.
Father's Day weekend we went to the Watoto children's choir concert. It was very emotional for me - i was on the verge of sobbing (the bad cry) through the whole thing. To see these orphans who had a new hope was amazing. They sang the following song and it gave me such reassurance that these kids were happy despite their circumstance and loved Jesus. So, if we don't get the chance to have our Ethiopian baby here at home with us - we will know that he/she is not forgotten - God has a different plan for them.
In the midst of everything, i was feeling lost - and then i realized that the song is not just for our baby - but its for me too. God knows my name. I am not forgotten. And so - keep praying. We are praying for a miracle and we know it can happen. Our hope is in God and we know that he can do amazing things.

I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
God knows my name
he knows my name

Light over darkness
strength over weakness
joy over sadness
he knows my name

father to the fatherless
friend to the friendless
hope for the hopeless
he knows my name

I will praise you
I will praise you
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made
I am not forgotten never forsaken

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Cautiously optimistic

You may have heard by now that we attended a 'creditors meeting' today. For me it was a very emotional experience and i have to admit - that for the first time i am feeling some hope that our adoption may continue. There are alot of hurdle's that need to be jumped to make it all work - but I think it might just be possible. These hurdles include co-ordintaion of the trustees, the ON Gov't and the families - its a big job. Its going to take time.
Of coarse we are guarding our hearts and do not look forward to more disappointment. But we know that miracles can happen. I believe its a small miracle that things have turned out so well already. Please don't take our 'cautiously optimistic' attitude as negativity. We are doing the best we can to remain positive in this situation. We feel that we will give the process some time and then decide how we will proceed.
I want to thank you all again for your calls, emails, cards, gifts, words of encouragement and your prayers. Please continue to pray for us - our hearts are still very tender.
Below is the article on the meeting from the KW Record.

KITCHENER—Affected families were buoyed Thursday by a plan to try to restructure a bankrupt Cambridge adoption agency under new management.
If successful, it would mean hundreds of clients from across Canada will still be able to adopt children from overseas after investing months of time and up to $20,000 in the process.
Would-be parents were devastated when Kids Link International Adoption Agency, which operated as
Imagine Adoption, collapsed July 14.
But they left a Kitchener meeting in good spirits after about 200 creditors voted unanimously to pursue a restructuring effort outlined by bankruptcy trustees from BDO Dunwoody.
“I’ve never seen so many people in one room agree on something so quickly,” said Ingrid Phaneuf, of Etobicoke, who is trying to adopt a child from Ethiopia. “It was fantastic.”
A group of about six people with the required expertise have come forward to possibly take over the non-profit agency. The plan would require approval from the provincial government, which licenses international adoption organizations.
Bankruptcy trustee Susan Taves said the plan will be explored and developed over the next two to four weeks to see if it can work.
“I think it’s really probable – a high percentage of success here,” she said after the three-hour meeting.
Companies, church groups, individuals and affected families have contacted trustees with offers to help salvage the agency.
“This is a really unique file,” Taves said. “In 20 years of doing this work, I’ve never had people call and say they’ll give money to keep an organization going.”

Families have so far filed claims nearing $3 million. Imagine has just $500,000 in cash, plus about $150,000 in accounts receivable and office equipment.
The collapse affected about 415 families, including more than 200 in Ontario.
Bankruptcy trustees are working with government officials to complete about 40 adoptions, mostly from Ethiopia, that had reached the stage where families were matched with children.
The remaining 375 clients were at various stages of the process and stand to benefit most if the agency is saved under new management and a new board of directors.
Nine families hoping to adopt from Ghana are in a particularly tough spot after an orphanage there was closed over concerns children had been improperly taken from their parents.
Jesse and Jeanette Martin of Elora had been matched with twin, eight-month-old girls before all adoptions from the orphanage were suspended.
“To us, these are our girls,” said Jeanette, showing photos of the children. “We won’t give up. We can’t give up.”
Waterloo Regional Police are conducting a fraud investigation after two directors of Imagine alleged senior staff earning six-figure salaries used corporate credit cards to make more than $300,000 in questionable purchases.
Included were trips, home renovations and a horse and saddle.
There was no sign at the meeting of Susan Hayhow, the former executive director of Imagine and two related organizations, Global Reach Children Fund and Saint Anne Adoption Agency.
Those agencies are also caught up in the Imagine bankruptcy because money moved among accounts for all three organizations.

Monday, July 27, 2009

hanging in

Just wanted to let you all know that we are doing ok. We were able to get away last week for a few days. It was nice to have some peace and quiet and get our heads around what has happened.
We really don't know any more than you do and what you see in the news. Time will tell if our file is salvageable. At this point its all up to the Ontario gov't. There is a meeting for all creditors on Thursday and we are hoping to get some answers at that point.
We want to thank you for your support - for your prayers, cards, gifts, phone calls and concern. Please keep us in your prayers. We are in a crazy limbo right now - scared to hope and scared not to. We trust that God will make a way - where there seems to be no way.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

black monday

yesterday our world fell apart. Our dreams and our hearts have been crushed. we are numb. We found out that our agency - Imagine Adoption has gone bankrupt. This pretty much means the end of our adoption. We choose this agency and this route because we felt it was our best chance of having a family - ever. The thought of getting into another line some where else is just so insane right now. Some say there may be hope for our file and another agency picking us up as clients but i doubt they will do it for free and we are at our limit. we are grieving the loss of our child and the hope that we once had.
We are thankful for our friends and families. for the calls and emails and facebooks and cookies. we haven't responded much - we will in time. we just need time to process. if you want to know details - check out the imagine website - globe and mail - CTV - any news site - its everywhere. We are also thankful for your prayers - cause right now we don't have the words to say so we are counting on you to lift us up. we know we are not the only ones - there are so many just like us. we have all suffered so much already and this just seems to be so surreal.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


how fancy - this is my #1o1 post. Who knew i (and occasionally 'we') had so much to say?!
I had a great week off! The weather totally sucked - rain, over cast, down right scary clouds, humidity and cool damp weather which is not kind to hair at all. Yesterday and today have been nicer - the sun has returned and so i am trying to enjoy it as much as i can!!!
Collingwood and the Blue Mountain resort was great!!! We got a sweet little package deal that included our meals and spa treatments (my feet have never looked or felt so wonderful!!) and some shopping coupons and a nice new robe to take home - and no we didn't steal them - we were supposed to take them home :) The weather didn't exactly co-operate - we had hoped to get to the beach or at least sit by one of the beautiful pools...but alas we shopped :) and saw some nice movies and did some more shopping :) It was a great get away!!!!
Also had a birthday last week - yep - another year older. It was kind of quiet which is fine by me. Mike and I enjoyed a wonderful seafood dinner out. Looking forward to having our first campfire in my new fire pit - once the fire chief comes by and ok's it and gives us our permit. I love a good campfire!!!
Today we are off to a surprise birthday party and then i am afraid its back to work. ugh. i am trying not to imagine the piles of papers that are waiting for me - its nice to know some of my work has been done while i was away - but the rest will sit and we will be right into the thick of 'month end'. The good news is that i work 2 weeks and then enjoy vacation week #2. Already counting down the days. This time Mike is off as well and we plan to tackle house stuff and get those reno's cleaned up that we started last summer... i would even like to start a new project or two :) we will see.
Also, good news on the adoption front (for other people anyway). Some folks are travelling as we speak and others have finally had successful court dates!! Yippee!!! Such good news going around. This can only mean that more referrals are on the way. And of coarse good news for other families is always good news for us. The process is moving and we are slowly inching our way closer to the top of the list. Mind you i said slowly - don't go getting all excited - I still think a referral by Christmas will be a miracle. But good news is good news and i will take it!!!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

While the wife is away...

It's true... I'm not myself when Brenda is away. She's off enjoying a much needed girl's getaway, while I'm stuck here working! I had great intentions of getting a lot of projects done while she's gone, but all I've managed to do is get the new outdoor fire bowl put together. Tomorrow is another day to tackle some more projects! The Canada day fireworks here in town were nice to watch from our back deck, it seems that we have a perfect line of sight to the park from here! I sat outside watching them before I left for work last night. The rain held off until the grand finale, then it got wet fast! So here's wishing our blog friends a Happy Canada Day!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

big hair days

well - today is the day we have been hoping and dreaming for - no not a referral silly - its hot. all winter we dream and imagine what it will be like again when we don't need to wear a gazillion layers just to stay ahead of the big chill.
well, today its hot. my hair is 3 times its usual self - why did i bother to try straightening it??!! I love summer - don't get me wrong - but the humidity is what gets me. We live in an old house and it manages to stay pretty cool - with blinds drawn and ceiling fans at top speed. We are lucky enough to have a window AC unit in our bedroom. Ok - so its summer - get over it.
I am also counting down the days till my first week of vacation. Next week is vacation week #1. At the end of the week, my best gal-pal and i are heading to Collingwood to a ski resort for a few days away. We got in on a package deal that includes a mani/pedi so that is all good. We will hit the beach, some shops and just enjoy some good old R&R. Oh, i can't wait. Ever just know that you really need a vacation - well i was at that point about 2 months ago so it will be so good to get away. This does leave Mike home alone for a few days. I am sure he will be blogging - always seems to sneak a post in when i am not around.
Had a good weekend. We saw the Watoto Children's choir on Saturday night. They are orphaned kids from Uganda. Its a really cool organization that sets up a foster type system where kids live in families with a house mother. Its a really great family model. its something to sit there and hear a 10 year old kid talk about his parents death and the fact that he didn't have food to eat or know what to do. Heartbreaking. The presentation was really well done and boy can those kids sing and dance!! It was great. I think it would be a good org to support! We aren't supporting any work yet in Ethiopia and i think its time to do some investigation and see where we might be able to sponsor some kids who won't get adopted.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


so, i was just going to post the song lyrics and let them speak for themselves. But as i was re-reading them it really hit me that mostly you would read that and feel bad at the beginning for the kid waiting to find a home - but in my case i feel like i am the one longing to find home with our baby. Does that make sense to anyone else? It really is a longing like that and in a way the baby saves me - i have a deep yearning, a longing for this little baby. Don't get all crazy - i am not a manic person who believes a baby will solve all my problems - but i do believe I have this empty space in my life that this baby is meant to fill. Often people think that adoptive parents are doing the world a huge favour by 'saving' this child from a life of abdonment and misery - but i think the child is doing us more of a favour. I dont know if this is sounding right. I hope you will understand what i am trying to say - but i dont think its coming out right.

When Love Takes You In

I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream

Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in

And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart

And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever
cause this love to lose its hold

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in

Stephen Curtis Chapman

Monday, June 15, 2009


So, here we are at 8 months. I have decided not to whine about the wait (i was going to say 'anymore' - but i can't promise that - maybe should say 'today'). I am going to try to be more positive - no one likes to listen to a whiner - and we still have a long way to go and i am beginning to sound like a broken record. In some ways its hard to believe that we have been waiting 8 months already for our referral. Lets hope we are more than 1/2 way.

On the Saturday it was kind of cool and over cast and so i did some baking and got out a project that needs to be finished. 2 years (yes that's right i said 2 years) ago, i decided that because of our drafty old house, i would make some flannel comforters. I was running out of blankets for our guests. Both my Grandma's made me comforters that i still have and love to use. My Grandma Heise's blanket is so fun to look at. It's made of crimpoline (polyester) squares and i can remember that this piece was one of her dresses, and so on. i have had to replace the flannel back as i loved it to death once already. So, 2 years ago - i bought some flannel and re-learned how to sew. I have one top completely done: And the second top is in the early stages. I need to finish cutting out the squares and do the sewing. You might notice, if you look closely that my squares didn't exactly come out square or sewn straight - it was my joke that the way it was going i would have a round blanket in the end!!! Once the tops are both done, then i will borrow my mom's quilt stands and and tie the tops to a flannel back. My Grandma Cober would say they are 'for warm not for looks'. So, here's to another one of my projects that needs to be finished. its kind of a bad time of year to get going on stuff like this - but who knows - maybe i will actually get done. i know that they look babyish and girlie - but they are actually not intended for baby - but for our guests who have to brave our sub-arctic home (in the winter that is - right now its getting toasty!).

And last but not least - my poppy finally started to bloom today and so did the columbine. Kind of cool. Happy June everyone - hard to believe the month is 1/2 over already. Here's hoping that month 8 will be a turning point and things will go smoother from here on in. cheers.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

New Roof

Well ... Brenda's out with some friends tonight, so I'm taking over! It's been a rough week for sleeping in the daytime for me. The roofing crew has been here for the last few days re-roofing the rear section of our house. (It's only been leaking for the past four years, but now was the time to get it done!!) Needless to say, I had to sleep on the couch yesterday, and install my earplugs to try to get some rest! Now the outside of the house looks better, and it shouldn't leak anymore! I had a good day of painting gutters and a few window frames on Saturday, so from the back yard, the house looks much different. I still have two more eaves and two windows to paint, but since I started that project a few years ago, what's the rush!?! We still haven't quite finished the indoor stuff, but that will be for rainy days!

Monday, June 1, 2009

what she said...

So - once again my fellow bloggers have come through. Its amazing how someone you don't know and have never met can know exactly how you are feeling. Its been a real blessing to me to have others to share this crazy ride with. If i knew what i was doing i would put a link in to a blogger who just posted exactly how i feel right now. She used a marathon analogy of how this adoption is going down. you can check out on the right "our adoption journey...lawson style" and then her post 'sweet sixteen'. Its really hard. Lately i haven't blogged much cause i don't feel i have much to say... nothing is happening - just waiting which we all know sucks - and i really don't want to be the broken record on how hard it is. its just really hard. So, thanks Krista - you were exactly what i needed today. Its nice to know we are not alone and that someone who is 'there' understands. I have amazing friends who can empathize and listen and be wonderful - but unless you have really been 'there' its hard to fully get it.
Its amazing to me how one word of encouragement can just feed my soul. On the weekend i had a person i barely know say some really ridiculous things to me - how these people can survive without being shot is a miracle - those few comments really wore me down. Why i bother to get upset is beyond me - but unfortunately, i not only got upset but carried it around for a good couple of days. What a good lesson for me - to #1 toughen up and not take things to heart so much and #2 try harder to encourage others.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

wordless wednesday - kind of - well, not really

Yippee for spring. I love to see things growing! I especially love when i don't kill things! I am not an experienced gardener, so i like easy things and take lots of advice from good gardener friends. We did add a new flower bed this spring :) I think Mike is worried that my flowers will totally take over our small back yard - but i promise him that we will always have room for a swing set and a sand box :) Remind me how much i love gardening in August when the weeds have taken over...
Nothing else new here - no referrals lately. Lots of people are getting ready to travel and pick up their kidlets - so that is a good thing - more room for new kids in the transition home.
Lately the waiting has got me down. I wonder if its too optimistic to think that we will get a referral by Christmas. Last year at this time we were thinking we would be traveling in the summer of 2009 and now we hope and pray we travel in the summer of 2010. I do know it WILL happen - but right now the light at the end of the tunnel is very dim.
As for other fun stuff - Chuck has stayed with us for the past few weeks - its been good to spend some time together after being apart for 2 years. On the weekend the Cober women minus one(sheri, dayna, my mom and myself - we missed you Val) went to TO to see the Sound of Music. At first I thought ' i have seen the movie a gazillion times - not so keen on seeing the musical' but it was amazing - see it if you can. it was a great time. We took the subway - which was fun and a novelty for us country hicks. A good time was had by all :)

Monday, May 18, 2009

playing catch up

Yep - its been a while since i have posted, so I am afraid it might be a long one.

First of all - we hit our 7th month in the referral waiting game. Not sure how i feel about that - kind of like that bus ran me over. When we started i really thought we would have a referral by now... Ah, then reality hits. Anyhoo - we are 7 down and who knows how many more to go.

Its true, i have been in a bit of a funk. Then it dawned on me - Mother's Day is coming up. Yep - not fond of that day. It was kind of quiet for us but we got through it.
I love my Mom!!!!! She is the best. She constantly goes above and beyond. She is always supportive and we must like each other cause we work together!!! Looking forward to our shopping day coming up!!!!
My Grandma Cober passed away last Mother's day - and so we were all missing her as well. She kept a diary and so we are privileged to read them now and get a feel for the kind of lady she was - besides the spoiling, playing twister Grandma that i knew growing up. She was busy!!!! She had a lot going on and almost everyday there was someone dropping by, some grandkid showing up to be looked after, ladies in to quilt or a visit paid to a neighbour. In fact it made me smile to read 'Dad and i sat alone tonight - no one came' - that was a rare entry but shows how much she loved having people over. Its kind of cool to see my name pop up in there every once in a while or things like 'Bruce's have a new baby - nice baby boy' or 'Sheri and Brenda were here for the day' or "Cathy went to Bruce's to babysit' or 'Dorthy went to Bruce's to babysit'. I know without a doubt that not only do i have great parents - but i had wonderful grandparents who loved us!!!! I have thought about starting my own diary - what a legacy to leave behind.
Anyhoo - on to other news. We have a visiting family member, as mike mentioned. Chuck - Mike's dad is home from Burkina Faso!!

Here he is - just landing in Toronto!!! We have had a good couple of day with him catching up from the last 2 years he has been gone. A highlight so far is Chuck meeting AJ for the first time. Here is AJ doing one of his funny faces - that kid is too cute!!!

I think Mike mentioned that we got a surprise 'early baby shower' gift from my co-worker Lynnette. It was a must buy that she couldn't turn down and I was so happy. It just about made me cry :) It came at the perfect time and is so sweet!!!! Here is Mike testing it out:

So, I think that's about all for now. Its the holiday Monday - and i am enjoying my time off. We had a big breakfast thanks to Mike :) We (and that means Mike) are going to be making a new flower bed out back today. Its way to cold to plant anything but I will move some perennials around and get a few things done out there. I love to see things popping up in the spring!!!