I have been trying to process this whole mess. The first week i was in a daze - really mourning the loss of our dream and our child. The second week i tried to ignore it - didn't work. And then on the third week... a glimmer of hope. We don't know what will happen. We could be holding our baby this time next year or our arms could still be empty. But i believe that God has not forgotten me. I believe that if we do not adopt our baby from Ethiopia, that God has not forgotten them either. I have really struggled with the knowledge that all these kids could now be with out a bright future. Then God reminded me of a few things.
Father's Day weekend we went to the Watoto children's choir concert. It was very emotional for me - i was on the verge of sobbing (the bad cry) through the whole thing. To see these orphans who had a new hope was amazing. They sang the following song and it gave me such reassurance that these kids were happy despite their circumstance and loved Jesus. So, if we don't get the chance to have our Ethiopian baby here at home with us - we will know that he/she is not forgotten - God has a different plan for them.
In the midst of everything, i was feeling lost - and then i realized that the song is not just for our baby - but its for me too. God knows my name. I am not forgotten. And so - keep praying. We are praying for a miracle and we know it can happen. Our hope is in God and we know that he can do amazing things.
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
I am not forgotten
God knows my name
he knows my name
Light over darkness
strength over weakness
joy over sadness
he knows my name
father to the fatherless
friend to the friendless
hope for the hopeless
he knows my name
I will praise you
I will praise you
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made
I am not forgotten never forsaken
7 comments:
So glad you got to hear the Watoto choir. We heard them when they were in our area a few months ago and I was very inspired by them as well. Keep praying and hoping. You are right. God has promised not to leave us in the tough times. Somewhere out there (who knows from where) I believe God does indeed have a child in mind for you and for us. I am trying to relax and have faith that he will lead us to that child. Take care!
Alysia
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I feel many of the same feelings you expressed. I know God wants me to accept this new curve ball. It's not always easy though.
I often think of Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good, to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
It is undeniably hard to be patient when we can't see how God is working or how any of this will be good, but the promise is there nonetheless and it sounds like your faith during this time is rooted there. May your faith be an inspiration to others!
hang in there. It is so hard, I know, but God IS in control, and He is holding you AND your child right now. Keep clinging to Him.
one more promise .............
Romans 8:26
This will happen...we must believe, we must have faith, we have hope...
Laura
Hi Brenda,
Just wanted to thank you for all the comments you leave on my blog. I really enjoy them. I hope you are having a great weekend!
Alysia
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