proposal

Well, 'the proposal' came out on Friday night. Its hard to believe how this whole mess has turned around so quickly. It hasn't always felt quick but in the big picture it has been. On July 13th our world was turned upside down and now on August 11 we have some answers and a plan. By the way - July 13th was our 9th month waiting for our referral - i haven't been counting lately. But i feel way over due!
I am happy with the proposal. I want to say a huge thanks to Susan Taves - the trustee. She even included a video with the key points to make everything easier for us. Yes, we have to pay more money. But its actually alot less than I thought it would be. I have been told to not worry about money, so I am trying not to.
I just can't seem to get excited about it though. I want to be excited. I want to open that nursery door again. I want to go in there and rock in the chair and dream about our baby. But I just can't seem to be excited. Maybe when the first referral comes in... Maybe when that first baby comes home... Maybe when we get our referral... Maybe when we bring our baby home... I have a feeling that it wont be real till i have that baby in my arms - cause i know that things can and do happen and dreams can be shattered. I know people have had those photos and thought they had their babies and they don't. Please don't let this be another awful chapter of our lives. Please let this be the beginning of the happy ending.